As children, we are flexible, mended by the beliefs of our parents, caretakers, and superiors. If mom tells you to go to bed before midnight because the boogieman will get you, you will be sure to have brushed your teeth and tucked yourself under the covers before the clock strikes twelve. If your grandmother tells you there are ghosts in the attic, you most likely won’t go up there and make it your clubhouse. If your parents tell you Santa will come at Christmas to give you presents only if you give him milk and cookies, you most likely will find the best cookies in the cupboard and place it neatly on a silver platter with a glass of milk. Being rational and being a child doesn’t exactly go hand-in-hand. We allow the adults in our lives to make all of our decisions for us.
As teenagers, we go through trial and error. We challenge authority, we challenge theories, we continue to evolve. Our problems go from not having the toys we wanted for our birthday to whether there’s acne on our face. By the time we get to college, we are considered adults to make our own decisions. It isn’t till college most of the time that we hit road blocks with massive red stop signs and caution tape plastered on every side of the road. We start to think, “maybe growing up wasn’t like I thought it would be”. Life becomes full of regrets, mysteries start to diminish, and before you know it, you’ve finished college and the only thing that surrounds your mind is one giant question mark, plastered on your forehead…Or perhaps your highest degree was a high school diploma and you had to work at an early age to make ends meet.
Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve, but didn’t….
We start to dwell on our past mistakes, failures, and life experiences, but we forget that we aren’t in the past, we are living in the present. We find ourselves falling into a bottomless pit, being trapped in an endless cycle that is doomed to repeat itself because we can’t let go of the mistakes we’ve made. Whatever we do in the present, will continue to build on our past memories so of course if we are presently living in the past, we will continue to make those same mistakes. We lose faith in our abilities and we form expected outcomes, we sabotage ourselves because we think that the same results will follow. If you believe you will fail, you’ve already set yourself up for it. Life is an obstacle, it’s rough and it isn’t easy, but we do need to move past those difficulties so that we can create a past filled with achievements to look back on and say, “yes, I did that”.
I’ve recently completed a book by Dr. Joe Dispenza entitled, “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself”. One of the most interesting points he makes is that our life becomes routine when we set up habits. Once we build those habits, we let our minds go to sleep and allow how we feel to take over. There is so much we can accomplish if we would just allow ourselves to just wake up for a moment and actively work through our difficulties. In order to achieve something, your mind has to direct you and your body has to follow through with it. When your mind and your body work together to accomplish something, that’s when you start to see results.
In fact, society makes the obstacles in our life seem like a curse, but every life experience we’ve went through is a blessing. You see, without touching a lit stove, how will we know it’s hot? Without trying our hardest and moving past failure, how will we experience the true feelings of success? It isn’t the obstacles in life and the lemons we receive that define us, it is how we overcome them that defines our strength and our character. If there’s any take home message about feelings towards the past, it’s to embrace it. I am a firm believe that for every obstacle we encounter and every bad thing that happens to us, there will always be good things and wisdom to take home with it. And whether we hate ourselves for the mistakes we make is also a choice, but just remember… There’s always a little bit of good that comes with it. You just need to find it. These are the moments, the choices, that define us.