When we fall deeply for someone, there are many of us that shy away from the overwhelming emotions we feel. Instead of running towards what we desire and what makes our hearts palpitate, we instead run away from it. In most cases, there’s always that one person that got away from us because we were so fearful of rejection, lacked confidence and self-esteem, or talked ourselves out of the unknown. The unknown itself is quite scary to contemplate about. After all, in our life, we cannot control the situation before us. All we can do is work hard toward something more meaningful. No matter how confident of a person you are, there is going to be a person that will make you experience the unfathomable. In these special times, we can’t understand why we feel the way that we do. All we could surmise it to is that the person must be absolutely perfect for us. Our feelings can be quite tricky to discern because at that moment, we refuse to second guess these feelings that are all too powerful. It’s especially important during these times that we try to pull ourselves away from this feeling and think about why we feel the ways we do.
Reasons such as the following could contribute to these powerful feelings:
-One is looking for love anywhere they can
-The experience of loneliness
-The idea of being in love with love itself
-Fear of rejection
-One might share similar qualities to that of an old flame
-Lack of attention
-Being caught up in the moment
If many of us took a step back, it would allow us to really tease apart our feelings and why we feel the way we do.
Why is it important to understand this? Because when we fall in love, we lose our senses and end up saying and doing things that drive them away. Other reasons we may drive others away is because a lack of feeling of self worth.
We wonder after all that how and why we screwed it up. It’s simply because we lost control. Because of this,we try to turn away people that make us feel this way. The question in this case scenario is whether we would continue to pursue said feelings and most likely drive away the people we feel so attracted to or to end these feelings and ground ourselves to save face. The mere attempt to deconstruct these feelings puts us in a vulnerable position. After all, no one likes an emotional wreck.
Instead, the many of us who opt out of these powerful and uncontrollable feelings are faced with the idea or suppression, closing the doors we once left wide open. These people are often mistaken for being hot and then cold, but it isn’t that their feelings change so drastically, it is just a defense mechanism to protect themselves and stop themselves from heading into a situation that they already cannot control.
Instead we end up letting go of these feelings and are left with the memories we loved every minute of, but won’t disclose to anyone. And sometimes, it ends up leaving both parties hurt. These fleeting moments become a repeated cycle of closing ourselves up to the people that may have been the person that was perfect for us. How do we rectify these situations? We can first be aware of these feelings and give ourselves enough time before coming in contact with them. Once we are able to control our emotions, we are able to sensibly respond in a way that won’t escalate these feelings of anxiety. If we don’t, we are conveying the wrong message to the one whom we wish to attract, we come off instead needy and desperate. If we do not first control emotions, we become insecure of our own feelings and try even harder to get someone to notice us. That, in itself intensifies the feelings and makes us chase others.
Otherwise, if we aren’t able to get our emotions in check, how can we ever be ready to take on the challenges of having a significant other? We would be practically throwing ourselves at them. Instead, we must try not to surround our lives around another person, but continue to live our own respectfully. Such is life.