The Pressures of Being Single

Many of us were in several relationships that failed. Others have not been in a relationship at all. Let’s face it, at a young age, most of us are not thinking about marrying seriously and dating is all about testing the waters. We get to learn what works for us, what relationships are like, we experience love, and in turn, experience heartbreak. In the end, we are learning more about ourselves and what we are looking for. After all, that is normally how we find whom we wish to settle down with and share our entire lives with. With that being said, there comes a certain age where society implies that we move on from that. More often than not, we do. Towards our mid 20’s, we learn to develop our relationships further, establish stability in our careers, and establish a family. Once we hit our mid 20’s, many of us have lingering thoughts of wishing to slow down time and anxiety kicks in. We are no longer teenagers testing waters having all the time in the world until marriage, the age that we normally think we will get married at is drawing much closer. It’s indeed  a stressful time because whose ready to think about that?

Do not get me wrong, I’ve heard that there are people that start planning their wedding at a young age and thoroughly enjoy the thought of marriage prematurely, but when you really think about it, marriage is a big step. I’m sure most of us don’t plan on getting divorced after we marry. There are so many struggles for people in their late 20’s and up to marry. For some reason, being single at this age almost feels as if it should be a sin when comparing our progression to that of society’s.

When single, we normally end up ordering for one for delivery. Finding a partner to go to a wedding is difficult and troublesome. Let’s face it, going to a wedding without a plus one is nerve wrecking especially when your family is around. It almost signals them to request your current status. Why can’t we just say things comfortably? What is so wrong about saying “I just haven’t met the right one.”? It almost feels shameful and holds a negative connotation when an outsider asks you why you are still single. When being single you don’t have someone to look forward to seeing at the end of the day, to tell stories to, or to have a warm embrace at the end of the day. Sometimes it gets lonely, but does that mean you should compromise independence and settle for less? Many people don’t like to think about it, but at times, it does suck to be single.

HOWEVER, aside from the external pressures for marriage and the times it gets lonely, being single at a later age can be an amazing thing. Because there is nothing tying us down, we can freely travel and explore opportunities that we would otherwise might not have the chance to complete. When single, we can focus on our careers, perform volunteer work, go to activities we enjoy, and save money for investment purposes. Being single makes us even more alive, being able to open up our eyes to things we would otherwise miss out on. We worry more for ourselves and spend more time taking care of our own needs, unfettered by the restrictions given to us by our significant others such as curfews. It’s an entirely different perspective and world for those married and those that are single in this day and age. I am completely open to the idea of love, but am not looking for it per se. Should it fall on my lap some day, then I’m sure I will follow my heart and go for it, but until then I want to just keep living life and enjoying every minute of it. I think that is how life should be, just taking care of yourself right now and the rest will eventually follow. What if it doesn’t you ask? Well, I’d like to have faith in the possibilities of it happening when the time is right. Stay positive and remember, take care of yourself first. Don’t get bogged down by others and just keep going. It will happen. ❤

When thinking about this, one movie comes to mind that I always find solace in. Have you ever heard of the Diary of Bridget Jones? I watch that movie normally after a break up or when I’m feeling lonely. It pretty much sums up what singles experience in a progressive manner. She is I and I am her. Many of us can relate to this movie so if you’re looking for a great chick flick you can relate to, that’s a good ‘go to’ movie. If you have a chance to watch it, I highly recommend it. Until next time all, take care of yourselves and stay strong ❤

 

Love,

Leng

 

 

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