In times of hardships, there are always those mixed feelings that oscillate day in and day out. How do people take in certain events and accept them so quickly? How do we come to accept things that transpire? The answer seems to be the same as always, “give things time”. It’s ironic how during the most difficult times, we wish to conceal how we feel and suppress those feelings. Our way of dealing with things is trying to forget about them and putting away those feelings until we are ready to deal with it. However, once we suppress these feelings, the trouble is that we can end up feeling numb as we may have wished when the feelings were too overwhelming. At that point, once we experience numbness, we realize something is completely wrong and we need to feel again. A culmination of happenstances bring us to the point of emptiness and the inability to feel anything deeper exists at a superficial level. Feelings are what makes us human, it’s what makes us who we are, and without it, our existence is nil. Without feelings, we lose motivation, we no longer experience sadness, but as a consequence, we can no longer experience happiness.
And so, what is left when we lose drive, we lose worth, we lose ourselves? We wander aimlessly in hopes of finding ourselves, we may even drown these thoughts out with medication or substance abuse, but the problem doesn’t go away. We can’t exactly move on until we finally accept the place we are in, why we are here, and what the underlying reason is behind these unwanted feelings or lack thereof. Determining how we became this empty shell is the key to recovery. It may take people months, years, decades, but a person will never be the same until they recognize and face these issues regardless of how hard things may appear to be. Of course facing the facts may be scary, may provoke anxiety, but addressing the issue is a responsibility to yourself. In the end, you’re not doing anyone a favor by hurting yourself.